If television commercials have taught me anything, it is that anytime a man is doing something he enjoys, a woman will step in to put an end to it.
Time and again, in ad after ad, it is the role of the woman, straight faced and without remorse, to tread on a man’s joy.
The latest example of this is a new commercial where a seemingly happy fellow comes home with what appears to be a stuffed astronaut. He pulls into the driveway and can’t even exit the vehicle before his wife lets him know, end of discussion, that his new toy is not coming inside.
I don’t even know what the ad is selling, but you can bet it’s not taxidermy or space travel. What the ad is saying is infinitely more clear; that a man can forget whatever it is that put such a smile on his face.
You might as well lose the smile altogether, it suggests, because you are in a relationship now, and wherever and whenever you decide to enjoy life is entirely up to her. This is what the experts like to call give and take.
Most of the commercials of this type involve a guy in his driveway, perhaps standing beside a Formula 1 race car, or possibly watching the power windows roll up and down in his new car.
In the old days, a man merely had to fear the wrath of his mother-in-law; but no longer. The mother-in-law is a kitten compared to what the happy man has to face every day now.
What’s so wrong with bringing home a stuffed astronaut anyway?
I think it would be cool to have one in a corner of the house for all to see. It would be a much better conversation piece than a new air freshener that goes off every 30 seconds, whether you stink the place up or not.
But, life in TV land is not like that. In the world of advertisements, men are idiots and women are righteous. Commercials love to depict men acting like morons; such as the kid who tries to stuff an entire serving of fries into his mouth, or the common dunderhead who can’t operate even the simplest household item.
Television commercials are creating an entire generation of vacant, well groomed, sweet smelling men who can’t have fun, can’t show any kind of youthful exuberance, and generally can’t function on their own.
If I ever see a guy buying a stuffed astronaut, I’m going to walk right up to him, wallop him on the back, and tell him to keep fighting the good fight. Don’t let the joy vampires bleed away your happiness, and don’t give up on yourself.
Of course, the odds of stumbling onto a stuffed astronaut sale are pretty slim. Real life isn’t like the average television commercial, for some of us at least, and that alone is enough to keep this man happy.